I’m 29, Dad of Three: What I’d Tell My Childless 24-Year-Old Self About Being a Supportive Partner
At 29, with three little ones running around and a wife—Franziska—who carried and brought them into the world with grace and strength, I’ve come to understand what it truly means to be a partner during the journey of becoming parents. If I could whisper advice to the 24-year-old me—childless and wide-eyed—here’s what I’d say:
1. Carry Your Child—To Bond and Support
Your wife just spent nine months carrying your baby inside her. Now, you have your own chance. Let your child rest on your belly whenever you can. It’s not just about holding them—it’s healing for her and magical for the bond you’re building with your child.
2. Be a Diaper-Changing Champion
Breastfeeding is beautiful, a sacred connection—but it’s also exhausting. You might scream internally at the mess, but you’ll get over that feeling fast. Change every diaper you can. It lightens her burden—and when other moms complain their partners aren’t around enough, yours will brag about yours.
3. Brew the Morning Coffee—Even If It Grows Cold
Picture this: she’s been up all night feeding the baby, finally drifting off. You get up early—make her that decaf coffee. Yes, she may leave it untouched while rushing out the door, but that gesture? It grounds her. It shows you see her exhaustion and want to help restart her day with tenderness.
4. Remind Her: She’s Still Her Own Hero
Pregnancy rewired her body and soul. Some mornings, she might not even recognize herself. Remind her of her past victories. Tell her she’s a superhero. She literally moved organs, grew life—and with that kind of power, she deserves to be seen for her strength—even when she can’t feel it.
5. Brace for the Hormone Tsunami—and Be Her Shore
Hormones are chaos: pre-birth and post-birth. Sharp words, uncharacteristic tension—they’ll surface. Don’t take them personally. Be steady. Be calm. Be understanding. Let her vent, let her stumble—and be the partner she can lean on until “normal” returns.
Why this matters so much: Parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint. And the bond between partners during that first stretch sets the stage for everything that follows. Being present, kind, and aware isn’t just about fairness—it’s about connection. Your wife is rebuilding her body and mind to bring life into the world. You? You get to choose how you show up—a tool, a mirror, or a life raft. Choose wisely. Your family will thank you later.